Chinese idiom · 成语
女大不中留
Meaning
An old saying that a grown daughter cannot be kept at home, traditionally referring to her marrying and leaving.
Character by character
Origin and story
Traditional sayingThis traditional saying is already quoted as familiar speech in Yuan drama. In Wang Shifu's Xixiang Ji, a speaker urges the mother to accept a young couple whose feelings agree, invoking the saying that a grown daughter cannot be kept at home. The anonymous play Bi Tao Hua also places it in a young woman's reflections on her intended partner.
The phrase reflects an older social expectation that a daughter would marry and leave her natal household. It records that historical outlook, rather than establishing a timeless duty. Today it may be quoted jokingly at a wedding, but it can also sound pressuring or old-fashioned.
Sources and further reading
In everyday life
姐姐宣布婚讯时，爸爸笑着说：“真是女大不中留啊！”
When my older sister announced her engagement, Dad laughed and said, “A grown daughter really cannot be kept at home!”
An old-fashioned saying, sometimes affectionate teasing; avoid using it to pressure someone to marry.